It’s Monday, and we are still hanging out in the margins of Medieval manuscripts, looking at all the animals behaving badly. This week, we are focusing on the monkey. These partying primates present puerile pastimes and perilous pranks. As an aside, WTF is up with the...Read More
Cats might rule the internet, but dogs come a close second. The same is true in Medieval manuscripts. Well, it might be a photo finish with the monkeys, snails, and rabbits (yes, snails), but more on that later. You can find dogs doing lots of things in Medieval manuscripts:...Read More
Long before Icanhascheezburger.com gave us the gift of endless cat memes, Medieval cats were movers and shakers, behaving inappropriately, seizing power, and literally leaving their mark on history. Most of these lovable assholes are found in the margins and designs of Medieval...Read More
I am fierce, unafraid, and unapologetic.
Don’t get me wrong. I love love love Lord of the Rings (LOTR) by J.R.R. Tolkien. Read all the books. Saw all the movies. But seriously. Can we please talk about the friend-zoning of Eowyn?
I know y’all love Faramir, and he’s a good dude. I don’t disagree. But, Eowyn should have absolutely ended up with Aragorn. What makes this whole thing even worse is that in the original drafts of LOTR, Tolkien actually had Eowyn and Aragorn together in the end. He also killed Eowyn, which thankfully he thought better of.
Growing up, I was a total tomboy in terms of the games I liked to play and what I liked to watch. I was all about Voltron (Lions, though Vehicles were okay), Robotech (OMG LISA HAYES IS A BAMF), and GI Joe (Scarlet all the way). Even in these cartoons, though, the girls were never badass enough for me. I used to imagine them having just as much action as the guys and being the ones who saved the day.
Imagine my delight at reading about Eowyn in LOTR. Here was a chick who was not only gorgeous and a princess (because I was still a girl), but she also was a warrior and a rebel. Yes, you can argue that there may have been dereliction of duty on her part in disobeying Theoden and not staying behind to take care of the people of Rohan. But, hey, how many guys in fiction do the same thing and it’s totally cool because the story, yo?
Let’s get down to business and just lay it out there, shall we?
If you have to put Eowyn with a guy at the end of LOTR, Faramir’s not the only option. Let’s take a look at the real cast of Bachelorette Middle Earth.
I do like Faramir. He’s just kinda milquetoast. His moral quandaries just don’t grab me. Putting Eowyn with Faramir is selling out just to give her some kind of happy ending.
I mean really. Did this chick ever once mention that she liked gardening?
Eowyn’s volte-face from warrior to healer does carry emotional weight, and it’s not a unique response from those who have lived through the horrors of battle. It’s just that it happens too fast, too easily, and most importantly, totally doesn’t fit with her character arc.
Yes, she got glory and wanted love. But, I just don’t feel that what she wanted was the kind of happy ending that turned her into the June Cleaver of Middle Earth. Eowyn was meant to rule, to lead, to fight. To stick her with a Victory Garden as her only goal is to sell her out and to sell short the power of female ambition and women’s need to achieve.
So, while Faramir’s a good guy, and I’m sure they’re very happy together, it leaves me totally meh. Though…I wouldn’t mind that starry blue cloak.
Okay, so Boromir dies in book 1. Small detail. But, seriously, can’t you just already feel the zinging chemistry between Eowyn and Boromir? Both fierce, ambitious, and fighters, Borowyn would have been HAWT.
I could see Boromir being Aragorn’s Steward of Gondor, and I could see Eowyn filling the role of Steward’s wife and playing politics, managing her parts of the job, and fulfilling her destiny to be a powerful woman. I can see Eowyn being the woman who actually handles the queen’s job while Arwen hangs out in her garden, popping out little Aragorns and embroidering shit.
Boromir is a powerful, passionate, conflicted character, just like Eowyn. While their union might not have brought the psychological peace that Farawyn does, I just feel that it would have been more realistic, more exciting, and frankly, more of what Eowyn would have truly wanted in her life.
Honestly, think about it. It’s not just that Eowyn wants renown as a warrior. She wants acknowledgement of her power as a woman. She WANTS TO BE A QUEEN. Instead, she ends up growing flowers in Ithilien? Chuh.
Aragorn really needed to wake up and smell the coffee. Eowyn was perfect for him. A powerful woman who understood court politics, was used to having a ruling position, was human, and loved him to the point of self-sacrifice…I mean, seriously.
In all honesty, Aragorn could have used that jolt of passion from Eowyn. It would have been like a shot of emotional espresso. Might have made him less grim about pursuing the whole King-of-Gondor thing. Eowyn was also unafraid to call him out when he was being an ass, just like a good friend/partner/spouse should. Remember when he told her to stay behind and do her duty? Can you see him saying that to Theoden or Eomer?
“All your words are but to say: you are a woman, and your part is in the house. But when the men have died in battle and honour, you have leave to be burned in the house, for the men will need it no more. But I am of the House of Eorl and not a serving-woman. I can ride and wield blade, and I do not fear either pain or death.” (J.R.R. Tolkien)
BOOM! Kings need honest advisors, and Eowyn would have been exactly that.
Let’s not forget that Eowyn loved him when he was just a stranger and a captain of soldiers. She was willing to defy everything and everyone and go with him even if he wasn’t a king. Arwen? *crickets*
I am kind of pissed at Aragorn for dismissing Eowyn’s feelings for him as an infatuation with a shadow. How the hell does he know? How dare he decide for her what her feelings are? *shakes tiny fist at Tolkien*
At the end of the day, I would have totally been happy for Eowyn to end up as just Eowyn. Not married to anyone but choosing her own life. She could have led a army of shieldmaidens in Rohan. She could have run off to be a mercenary. She could have stayed single and taken lovers as needed/wanted. She could have had a chance to learn more about herself and fall in love with herself before she fell in love with any man.
Because sometimes, it’s about the #relationshipgoals you have with yourself.
It’s French Friday again, and again, we are diving back into the world of Charles Frederick Worth, the father of haute couture.
I am not an expert on fashion history, though I enjoy dabbling in it. The following is simply a silly idea that came to me as I was feverishly digging through Pinterest for all the House of Worth images I could find. There are biographies of him that probably explain exactly what exactly he did and why he did it.
My silly theory is this: Charles Worth produced greatness when he got bored.
I kinda sorta have proof.
Okay, let’s start with his earliest dresses from the 1860’s.
Gorgeous designs, granted. Clever use of lines and fabric, granted. Boring, cookie-cutter lines of every other 1860’s gown? Absolutely.
Now, assume that having had a modicum of success, Charles begins to feel a little confident, a little bold. He starts stitching his label into his dresses, but what’s the point of having a label that people talk about if you don’t give them a design to remember?
Now we get to the 1870’s, and Charles takes a couple of tentative creative steps forward, testing out trains, overskirts, and folding the fabric so it starts to form part of the structure of the dress itself.
You’re starting to get a different line for the bodice, pleats, and more options for mixing and matching fabrics and colors.
Look at this. Look at the incredible, bold use of asymmetry, draping, fabric mixing, texture, and lines. There’s example of example of his genius. His son Jean-Philippe would continue with some of the most iconic designs of the 1890’s. Take a look at my Pinterest board on the House of Worth to find more awesomeness.
Some of the final designs Worth senior did himself give us these striking gowns. The use of fabric, positioning, lace, and draping is astonishing, ground-breaking, and utterly bewitching.
I think you’ll agree with me that these examples of what happens when art, architecture, and fashion meet boredom and genius.
I guess we can all say, “Vive l’ennui!”